The Present

Today was a beautiful day.  It’s still a little chilly but it turned out to be pretty good driving weather.  As I drove to see my girlfriend at work I was thinking about nothing in general and as such trains of thought unravel you sometimes find yourself thinking about past events.  Those moments in our personal history that cause us to time travel backwards and relive them.  It’s nice to take a break from the mundane.  I thought of  a time when I was sitting on a lake’s shore and watched the wind move through the air.  Did you ever notice how the wind blows out over the water and directs the ripples and currents like a dancer taking the lead over their partner?  The wind was blowing from all directions and it made the water appear to be chaotic and random yet there was a steady rhythm to it, like no matter what the wind did or how random it was, there was still structure or a constant flow.  At this time in my life I was in a crazy spot.  I had this going on with that and the other thing and nothing seemed to be working out right.  Work, money, parents, significant others, it was all building up to a giant cluster fuck and I was about to lose my mind.  Now, I have a high tolerance for bullshit and usually do well under stress but this time I was falling a little short on optimism.  I sat on that shore, watched the wind lead and surface follow and realized that even though this scene looked chaotic it wasn’t; everything flowed together.  So I followed in suit.  I decided not to let anything really get to me and just put my head down and press on. Sometimes you need to remember that in the end you’re the only one who should have a say in how you feel. Some things in life just aren’t worth the anxiety or apprehension so just get past it, move on and enjoy what you can. Sit on a beach and see what you can learn.  Watch a field of grass dance and shine in the sun. Take a drive and watch the scene in front of you change with the seconds.  When you’re in traffic, clear your head, turn off the music and just watch the world.  Feel yourself breathe and notice what it’s like to be in the moment. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to think about things that made you happy or times when you were carefree but remember that in those memories you were in the present. You weren’t thinking of your significant other’s stupid comment or what you’re going to do next weekend.  You were alive and in that moment, perceiving everything that was happening around you and reacting to it. Had I been sitting on that shore thinking about my problems instead of watching the wind I might not have thought to just let it be. I could’ve gotten so wrapped up in my anger and frustration that I went home and bitched at everyone around me and just created more of a shit storm.  I would’ve missed the point of what was happening right in front of me. Live in those seemingly insignificant moments of your life and see what happens when you’re paying attention.

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